May 15, 2014 Thursday I am believer. I believe in a lot of things and I believe in love most of all…I believe that believing in such a thing is inevitable. I mean, I can feel it surging-ecstatically inside of me as if that has already been part of my system-even before I was even born as if it has grown like the universe as it supposedly expanded from a singularity, or as if God has literally put His hand into my heart and planted a seed there and it would eventually grow into something beautiful if I let it to be and I also believe I am not the only one. I believe at one point or another, we all do (feel the same way) because we are all connected in some-way or another…somehow. You can take all the logic in the world into the equation and mix it up with every other scientific theory you can ever imagine not to mention each of our own personal-philosophical innuendos we can inscribed-will still not be enough for any of us to ignore one specific fact…There is a void inside all of us, crying, screaming, desperately asking for our help to fill it with something new-something beautiful. I do not want to fear the darkness inside of me anymore. I want to help it inflate itself into potency for life and then eventually into a force to be reckon with in-light of the truth. So this job makes me a soul-searcher. I believe there are many version of myself inside the universe and all I had to do-to meet any one of them-is by believing that they can exist in me-the better me, the more secure version of who I can be, the stronger one, with a wiser spirit, a more forgiving, one who has the understanding of child-open to let everything comes and turn that into a smile or two or the version of me that I never thought possible, the one that true believer who believes in the first place-that person. The possibility is endless because if I can dream it, I can always wake up and make it happen, that is, if really wanted it to. OK, stop! No, I am not talking about, leathery-outfits-masked-superhero with extreme super-powers…no but to be someone powerful enough to become the person, the world truly needs and if that means, I don’t get to live the life I wanted to but in exchange-I can move one single soul to smile at his or her own life, so be it. At least the void will no longer be the one in charge because my life is my domain. God gave me this life and whichever journey arrives within the package. I can’t say that I am altogether ready to take charge now. No, I am not saying that at all. I can say that I have only a few negative illusions left to disturb my capability-I have no problem admitting that I am still, somewhat distorted and in pieces. I am still a work in progress and I am OK with that. |